Destiny's Playfulness

Rain has not been stopping since yesterday, making the atmosphere moist, chilly and filling the air with lethargy. Despite being fully conscious of the load of work awaiting me, I woke up with a feeling of laziness. Alone at home, I slept longer than usual and decided to bunk my lectures. The sound of the dripping drops of rain rhythmically enthralled me to deeper sleep. Waking up at nine, it looked as if time has stopped moving. It was still so dark outside and the rain continued to enhance the beauty of nature. I prepared myself a king-sized breakfast, switched on the TV, sat on the floor with some cushions to ease my back and enjoyed the food. I was about to finish my breakfast when my mobile phone rang. Unexpectedly, it was Dad at the other end of the phone. I listened carefully, caught the radio playing in the background and some giggles, which I assumed were that of his colleagues. I kept the phone and murmured to myself: “You spoilt my day Dad!” I sighed, sipped some coffee and pondered over the words of my dad. My aunt is to move in her new house at Phoenix today. She has left a few of her belongings in her old garage and wanted my dad to help her moving them in today. But Dad is busy in a meeting with the marketing manager and wanted me to help my aunt instead. He has already talked to my uncle who will pick me up in 15 minutes. I nodded absentmindedly... "And I thought I would stay at home, watched the rain, enjoyed some wonderful food, sleep and pamper myself! Wow! Thank you Dad!" Rolling my eyes, murmuring stuffs to myself, I walked in my room. I was still in my pyjama and Uncle would be arriving soon. 

 I waited near the large window in my living room, facing the porch. Drops of rain meandered their ways down the window pane. There was no sign of the usual blue sky, the road was filled with water, mothers walked carefully, protecting their child, clad in colourful raincoat,  on the way to school.  I saw a white car in front of my porch, which, to my amazement, looked new. My uncle was here. I picked up my phone, my handbag, my umbrella, walked out of the house, closed and locked the door behind me. I stopped under the veranda, lost in some what-to-do-next thought. The car was about 15 steps away and the rain was not going to stop for me. I realized I was wearing a simple white Kurti and a pair of Jeans. Basically, straining my mind to think of a stratagem in any situation you might think of always forces me to sacrifice my long nurtured desires. This time,  I was not going to accept defeat. I did not bother to open my umbrella, walked in the rains, without thinking of my dress, my hair or any other thing. Oh rain, soothing and blissful! I urged my steps to slow down to enjoy the touch of each drop on my face. I looked up and blinked at each drop falling on my face, until I arrived at the car. I opened the front door, bent down my body, careful with my head, took a seat and greeted my Uncle without looking at him. At that moment, everything seemed normal. I was at home, I got a call and now I'm on my way to help my aunt. Nothing on earth gave me a hint that this would be the most beautiful moment in my life, or maybe, just another turn of Fate’s Wheel, just another moment of emotional turmoil and ‘loud silence’. When it dawned on me that the driver was not my uncle, I literally forgot to breathe. I sensed my heart pumping harder and harder every second. Heat conquered my body. My vision, blurred. I wanted to open the door and get out of the car, but it was too late to formulate an idea. 


 Words struggled out of my mouth and metamorphosed into a cracked voice: “I guess, you thought to help Uncle and came to pick me up instead, right?” I know, I was sarcastic.


“Hmm, well, to say the truth, I heard your Dad talking to my Dad on the phone, and thought to help you out as I was free…” He explained breathlessly, as if he learnt these lines by heart. 


 I struggled to keep my heartbeat firm, I fought hard to bring out words to speak, and they came out as cracked sounds. I knew he was staring at me again and the same surge of uneasiness encroached me. I avoided his gaze as far as possible, glaring outside the window: another moment of Fate’s sudden Turn of affairs, another I-don’t-know-what-to-do moment, another moment of unusual silence... voicing out many untold feelings. Oh! How I hate this situation! I sat unmoved, all dripping, scrutinized every of my movements, weighed my words a thousand times before projecting them, fought the millions of thoughts that came juggling in my mind at one go and in the midst of this dilemma, I forgot to breathe…again. 


 Al was sitting beside me the day when I decided to drop my lectures, the day which I thought would be just like any other day, the day when I got drenched like a stupid girl without knowing that H.E was actually driving the car. He was taking me to my aunt, he would be with me the whole day, we would be talking or maybe just waiting for each other to talk. “Thank You Dad!” I muttered again. 


The atmosphere was foggy and I realized that what seemed to be a day-in-the-bed turned out to be surprisingly romantic. This thought brought a smile to my face and when I realized that he was smiling too, I quickly retrieved back my controlled position. 


 “So…You love the weather?” He started (Thank God, he talked)


 “Uhh, Yeah…” I shot out, aware of the silly impression I was creating. 


He stretched him arm at the back seat and handed me a towel: “Here, wipe your hair, else you’ll catch a cold.” 


Plunged into deep thoughts, I smiled unconsciously while wiping my hair. His voice purged the stream of my thoughts and I realized that I have not heard of him since two months. 


“So, how are you? I heard you are not taking care of yourself these days? Heard that from Mom!” His eyes met mine but I quickly looked away and answered casually: “Sleeping late at night everyday, else I’m ok…So, what’s up?...” 


 Thus started another journey, which seemed full of life, another opportunity to be with him. No one knew what was going to happen at the end of the day. But one thing was for sure, I was with him, not by choice but by destiny and maybe this is how things were meant to be. I composed myself, forgot my hesitation for a while and dipped in the conversation again.

Words v/s Silence

On a moonlit night, walking along in synthesis with the waves in constant locomotion, I watched the stars glimmering and thought about all the things that happened to me in the past few days. A week filled with emotional cataclysm and unfathomable overflow of feelings. A heavy sigh skipped my mouth. I closed my eyes, listened to the swishing waves battling on the shore. I caught a few scratches of conversation from families camping on the beach as I walked past them. I stopped and walked closer to the sea, lifted my skirt and forwarded my bare feet to feel the chilled water. I stood there for about fifteen minutes, holding my sandals with one hand and lifting my skirt with the other. Forelocks bothered my sight. The atmosphere was serene, almost heavenly. I glanced at the moon, now shadowing itself under some black clouds. The little mind I have was juggling with numerous routes of thoughts. Confused of which route to undertake, I left it on my instinct to decide. Memories of the past days fuelled my mind again and as always, I felt a strange unexplained soreness in my heart. Memories that kept me smiling out of nowhere, for no logical reason, I knew that I could not control its flow and I did not even try controlling them. I sensed a few drops of rain crashing on my body; I waited in vain to enjoy the coldness of the rain. The wind grew stronger for a while and spoiled my hair again, I tried to avoid them flowing on my face by swerving my body against the wind. I lost hand of the time it was, I guess I have been walking for too long. I thought of my family back in the tent and decided to go back. I walked a few steps and stopped to wear my sandals. I sensed a presence behind me. At that time, I thought it must be either my imagination or just the result of the wind but there was actually someone. I turned back, let go of my skirt and scrutinized the familiar face in the dark. I did not have to make an extra effort to know that the 'familiar face' was Al. I somewhat sensed his presence when I left my tent to walk on the beach but I dropped this feelings thinking that it must be because I’m craving to talk to him. We needed to talk, that was true. We needed to talk about me, about him, about 'us'. I watched him in consternation for a few seconds, controlled my emotions, faked a curious smile and asked him: “You? At this time? Why?” The answer was stereotypical. Well, I would have said the same thing also: “I’m not asleep, so came out for a walk…alone!"  I caught him looking at me in a weird way. I avoided his gaze and walked. He followed and walked beside me. There were so many things to say, but the pin drop silence said many things we would never say to each other. I enjoyed the silence, much to my dismay. I felt the atmosphere complete now. I wonder what happened to us. Maybe, we were enjoying the calmness and the expressive atmosphere, as words would destroy its purity. But, on the other hand, I was very disappointed with myself. I said nothing, not a word, just a few ‘Hmm’ and some ‘Yeah’ when he shot his silly questions about the food we had or the dress I was wearing, until we were at about a hundred meters away from the camp. My hands moved forth and back slowly as I walked. My right hand hit his left hand a few times. The first time this happened, I withdrew my hands and folded it under my breasts. But then, my uncivilized forelocks forced me to unfold my hands and let them hanging on each side again, so that I could control my forelocks everytime they turned wild. Still no words crossed my lips and he remained bound in his awkward silence too. Maybe words were falling flat and that there was nothing more significant than this moonlit night, the bride-like adorned sky and 'us'. I sensed warmth on my hands and it took me no longer to realize that Al was holding my hand. I breathed. Controlled my composure. Thought of the words I would tell him, but could not compose anything reliable. I let my instinct play the game…again, despite knowing that I am always betrayed by my own voice. I looked at him, trying to find an answer to this action of his. His eyes were blank, or too deep that I could not figure anything his heart harbored. Was that an answer in disguise? But I always fail in reading between the lines. A few more steps until I reach my tent. That tiny moment seemed like ages. My heart was in turmoil, I did not know how to react. His tent was a few steps away from mine, he stopped in front of my tent, let go of my hand, squeezed my right cheek (Like you do to a chubby little baby) and said: “I had a nice time. Good night!” I smiled, not knowing what to say. I decided to say a few things but stopped for fear of not be able to transform my thoughts into the right words. I looked at him, still puzzled, muttered a ‘goodnight’ and unexpectedly kissed him on his cheek, not waiting for his reaction, entered my tent, listened to his fading footsteps and kept thinking about what just happened until the first rays of the sun hit the shore.